I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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