My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
