I think I won the penis lottery.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
