and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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