I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
