do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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