Your dad touched me again.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize