I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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