I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
