You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
