i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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