You're completely useless in the revolution.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
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there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
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And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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