She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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