The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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