She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
