He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
