it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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