Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
