I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he fucked my hip out of place.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
