shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
