found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
