we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
