Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize