"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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