Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
