So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
