Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
