can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
