For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
