You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
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12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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