i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
