So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
