Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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