My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
