operation harelip BJ is a go
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
