I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
