You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
