i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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