Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
