i permit you to call me
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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