I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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