He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
well you can't waste a boner
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize