Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
