It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We are two peas in an std pod
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
