apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize