If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Randomize
