I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I cannot find my penis.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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