it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
