just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
so let's talk penis.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
