He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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