All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
