why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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