As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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