You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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