how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
