Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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