lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
