Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
