Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
