I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
