my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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