I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
